Navigating wedding etiquette has always been tricky, but how does technology alter what has long been one of the most tradition-bound days of many couples’ lives?

Brides and grooms can use computer communication for several aspects of the big day, including e-mail invitations, access to driving directions and wedding registries and even full wedding Web sites. But what is most appropriate, helpful to guests, and easy to use?

When we asked brides, wedding planners and Web hosts that question, we learned the answer depends on the task at hand. Here are their tips for following wedding etiquette in the age of the Internet.

Web sites

The use of wedding Web sites has risen dramatically in recent years. With particular growth in just the past year, “we’re starting to see it hit the mainstream,” says John Scrofano, chief operating officer of wedding Web site provider nearlyweds.com. He cites the addition of wedding Web sites to bridal magazine checklists as evidence of this shift, but adds that creating one should be “something fun” rather than a requirement.

For brides and grooms who grew up in the digital age, that’s not likely to be a problem.

The Web sites offer a place to post pictures, directions, profiles of the bride and groom, registry information, accommodations listings, and more — all in a bloglike format.

“As generations of couples move through life, more and more have been exposed to the Internet since the very beginning,” explains Anja Winikka, an editor at wedding Web site provider theknot.com. “This is a logical way for them to pass on information to their guests.”

While most wedding Web sites are free, some require a one-year subscription fee, generally between $50 and $100.

E-mail

E-mail invites are an etiquette no-no, according to wedding planner Allison Liset of Elegant Engagements in Sandwich. “The formal invitation should always go out in paper,” she says, “but for guests who don’t get their RSVP card in on time, you can send a quick e-mail to follow up.”

E-mail follow-ups still allow guests to respond in writing, Liset explains, which can be more comfortable than a phone call if they need to decline, and offers a faster response than a mail query.

In fact, asking guests to RSVP via e-mail from the start is becoming increasingly popular. While traditionalists still say a formal RSVP card should be included in the invitation, many young couples are choosing instead to simply provide their e-mail addresses when asking for a response.

“We had guests RSVP to the wedding on a traditional card,” says recent bride Jessica Dalby of Wellfleet, “but because there were so many other events, like a barbecue and a whale watch, we put the RSVP for those on our Web site. It was really helpful, because it made the paper RSVP much less complicated.”

Winikka sees this combination practice as a good middle ground, environmentally and economically. “I don’t see e-mail replacing formal invitations, but it can really help cut down on inserts, which budget- and paper-wise is great.”

With most couples overspending by thousands, Laura Harding sees how to keep costs down

Oversized hats are selling faster than festival wellies and men every- where are off on 4×4 driving stag weekends. It must be the wedding season and “for richer or for poorer” has never seemed so apt.

Amit Bhatia and Vanisha Mittal, the daughter of steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal, managed to rack up bills totalling £30m during their three-day celebrations four years ago – the most expensive wedding of all time. But while not everyone has a billionaire budget, most couples still manage to blow their nuptials savings by almost 25 per cent, amounting to an extra £3,500, according to research by Alliance & Leicester.

A glamorous venue costs an average of £2,200, and that doesn’t come close to the bill for those Irish castles favoured by pop stars and glamour girls. Flowers will set you back over £500 and a storybook album of your big day, snapped by a professional photographer, will cost nearly £900.

Then there’s the dress – the stuff of fantasies … and financial nightmares. Even if you aren’t Coleen McLoughlin and don’t need a £200,000 Marchesa frock to make you feel like a princess, a designer dress will cost at least £1,300. Shoes and jewellery will bump up the clothes bill even more.

But it’s on the reception that most couples overspend. People tend to believe it will cost less than £5,000, when £8,000 is a much more common figure.

Richard Al-Dabbagh, head of personal loans at Alliance & Leicester, says: “The expense is greatly underestimated, and it is essential to assess your finances when budgeting for the special day. It may be sensible to opt for a low-rate personal loan.”

However, there are other ways to keep costs under control if you don’t want to start married life in debt, and planning ahead is important. For example, most venues offer a three-course meal for the wedding breakfast, but if you opt for a buffet you could halve the expense. And consider supplying your own alcohol, as buying in bulk from an off-licence or wholesaler could also reduce the bill – though check if the venue will demand a fee for corkage….[read more]

original content by: http://www.independent.co.uk/

As the bride and groom emerge from the church or register office, it is traditional for guests to throw confetti over them. Originally, people threw rice, to represent fertility. For a long time, in this country, paper confetti was used but these days this is discouraged because it makes a mess and is non biodegradable. However, the answer to this is to get (or ask a bridesmaid or the best man to get) some organic confetti.

Confusingly, what in English we call confetti is what in Italian is called coriandoli. What Italians call confetti are sugared almonds that in Italy are given out as wedding favors.

These sugared almonds are traditional wedding favors in the UK as well. Five are given to each guest, to represent health, wealth, happiness, long life and fertility. These days, wedding favors may consist of any type of small gift, given out as a ”thank you‘ to those attending the wedding.

The bride throws her bouquet into the crowd and all the single women vie with each other to catch it. According to superstition, the girl who catches it will be the next one to marry.

A nice tradition (though a tiring one for those involved!) is the receiving line. The bride and groom, their parents and, optionally, the bridesmaid and the best man stand in line and greet all the guests as they file into the room where the wedding breakfast is to be held.

The cake is a central part of the breakfast ceremony. It is traditionally in three tiers, the top one of which the couple keep and eat on their first anniversary. (If you plan to do this, do tell your cake-maker in advance.) The bride cuts the first slice of cake, with the help of the groom, and a piece is given to every guest. It is also traditional to save a piece for anyone who was unable to be with you on the day, so that they may share in the good luck.

In terms of speeches, the rules are being bent, broken and abandoned left and right. These days, for example, many brides are choosing to get involved and make a speech. According to tradition, however, this is what happens:

• The bride‘s father speaks first, welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming, as well as saying a bit about the bride and the groom. He then proposes a toast to the happy couple.
• The bridegroom replies, speaking both for himself and for his new wife. He thanks the parents and toasts the bridesmaids.
• The best man thanks the bridesmaids, tells funny stories about the groom and concludes by toasting the parents. If there are any messages from well-wishers unable to attend the wedding, the best man reads them out as part of his speech.

When the time comes for dancing, the bride and groom take the floor, before anyone else joins them, for the traditional ”first dance‘.

Your best friend from college now lives six states away, and the cousin you grew up with is on the opposite coast from you. They may be thousands of miles away, but your out-of-town guests still play an important role in making your wedding day everything you dreamed it could be.

“Americans are more mobile and in-touch than at any time in our history,” says Barry Glick of NAVTEQ’s Traffic.com. “Cell phones and e-mail enable us to maintain close relationships with loved ones who live thousands of miles away, but on your wedding day, you’ll want to have them by your side.”

With some careful pre-wedding planning and a little help from local family and friends, you can help ensure out-of-towners will make the trip – and enjoy the journey. Here are some tips:

To make distant loved ones feel like a part of the pre-wedding excitement, consider sending an e-newsletter in the months leading up to the big day. You can do this on a monthly basis or weekly, whatever fits into your schedule. Fill the newsletter with information about your planning progress (“We booked the reception hall.”), updates on RSVPs (“Don’t forget – RSVPs are due back in just two weeks.”), and amusing anecdotes about life as a bride-to-be (“I gained two pounds tasting wedding cakes last week!).

Create your own wedding Web page where you can include useful photos that will help out-of-town guests recognize important landmarks when they visit. Post images of the outside of your wedding location and reception site, so that when guests arrive they’ll recognize the spot and know they’re in the right place…. [read more]

Original Content by: http://thecabin.net/